As most of you know and can relate to, most of our friends and family do not understand or can relate to our situation as a caregiver. And quite frankly, we don't want them too as it would be they would also be on this hard road called Caregiving. 

Yet at the same time, it can make it difficult for us too. They can't understand why you are so tired, cranky, well, me anyway, or why you are quiet, or just can't do the things you used to. Many don't know what to say, so they say nothing. Many give uninvited advice that upsets us because they can't see the full picture and their advice seems to contain nothing helpful to us. Many also would like to help us, but don't know how or how to best reach out.

I have learned some life lessons, many while being on this journey, that seem to help me. I hope they do you too.

1) Never assume- never assume anything because we are usually wrong in what we are assuming.

2) Give grace to yourself as well as others. It can give a sense of peace, and even a feeling of control over the things we can't control.

3) The only thing constant is change.

4) Never expect from others what you expect of yourself. You will find a lot of disappointment if you do.

5) Practice mindfulness and gratefulness. This can also give you a sense of peace.  Our lives change so much, as well as the life of the person we are caring for. We may no longer celebrate birthdays and holidays the same, we may not be able to celebrate the promotion or have that retirement party, and we may no longer be able to plan those wonder vacations. 

We now celebrate a full nights sleep, that our loved one may experience less symptoms that day, or that a friend stopped by and brought us dinner. When we find the little things are just as important, the bigger things we once experienced become less important.

6) Don't take people at their word, but for their actions. I have had the experience many times that people would say they would do something, but never followed through. This could make me very upset and feel very disappointed. So I have learned who will follow through and who won't and I set my expectations accordingly. I feel a lot less disappointed in people and more peace in my life.

7) You are not Superwoman (Superman), you can't do it all by yourself. Ask for help and when people want to help, let them. Be specific in your asking. That has been such a hard thing for me to learn! 

8) This too shall pass..... this is a season, a chapter in your life and will not always be this way